This is a quick story about what happened to me at the beginning of this summer.  This is a “tragic” yet inspirational story that is VERY personal to me.  I’m going to be telling you some very “personal” and emotional information about my private life that not many people are privy to.

With that being said, let me tell you the backdrop of the story:

Just about every penny I made in the
last 2 years I sunk back into my business in
one form or another.

And most of that money went right down the
toilet.

I’ve spent so much on training, ebooks, courses,
software… you name it, I’ve tried it.

I was looking back at how much I’ve spent “trying
out” different bus’ness opportunities, marketing
programs, and other tools to help me grow my
business.

And the shocking thing is this year alone
I’ve spent in excess of $10,000 just “messing
around”.. (oops!)

But that tells you a LOT about success in the
business world.  I could’ve dumped that in
to some fancy car so I could shoot a video
and try to hype you up.. then try and “sell
you” on getting in to my business.

That is NOT what I believe success to be.

But in order to get to this kind of level
in business you need to learn to:

DELAY GRATIFICATION!

Put off buying the big expensive toys and
stuff, and focus on growing your business.

This was NOT my ‘number 1 goal’ this past
year.. It was my ONLY goal.

** So, why am I telling you this?? **

I told you that so I could tell you
the “tragic” part.

In early July (right before I had my first
$20k+ month) it was getting warmer out
and I wanted to throw on a pair of shorts..

I got dressed and did one of those “double takes”.

I looked at my jean shorts and thought to
myself, “I think my mom bought these for me
while I was still in high school – like 10 years
ago..”

I asked my wife (we’ve been together since
high school so SHE’D KNOW TOO) and she confirmed
my suspicion.  It was a nerdy, tattered, late 90s
pair of jean shorts.  UGH!

So my wife and I hopped in the car to go buy
me some new summer clothes for the first time
in a long time…

No – I didn’t go to some “ritzy” expensive store.

I went to Old Navy for god’s sake.  And there
was even a sale, so yea – I was still being a
“tad cheap”.

But you’ve got to realize the mental breakdown
I was having at this point.  I had sunk EVERYTHING
in to growing my business.  And not just for the
last 2 years or so.  I’m talking about the last 5
years, most of which was brutal failure, rejection,
sleepless nights, and heart ache.

Seriously – I couldn’t look myself in the mirror
2 years ago when I got fired. I felt like a total
failure. And all I wanted to do was beat myself
into submission.

My self esteem was all but gone. I considered
myself “the victim”. But I still wanted MORE.
And I wasn’t going to stop working until I
figured it out.

And I didn’t stop working for such a long
time, I forgot how to “not be stressed!”

I was literally *afraid* to enjoy myself because
I had been the “victim” for so long.

And now here I am, afraid to spend any money
on myself, standing in a clothing store wondering
if I should even be there.

Luckily my wife was there to guide me with my
shopping experience – haha.

So I approached the cashier, she tallied up the
pile of clothes, and it came out to just over $100.

I went to hand over the credit card to pay and
I just couldn’t. My hand holding the card was
literally trembling.

*I felt like I was giving her one of my kidneys…”

I was ready to break down and cry right there
in the middle of the clothing store.

And you might be thinking, “Big deal. I have a
pair of pants/shoes that cost over $100, and you just
bought a new *summer wardrobe* for that..
what’s the big deal!?”

The big deal was I felt like I had had the first
real “victory” in a long time. I felt like Rudy -
you know the football movie, right? Where
the kid fights his whole life to play just ONCE
for the Notre Dame college football team.

All the of pain, rejection, failure, and self defeat
accumulated into one moment, and the next
moment I was free from it. I was no longer
going to hold myself back. I was no longer
going to get in my own way.

==> I was thinking the other day: all us guys
want to be the “knight in shining armor.” We
want to be the warrior who slays a dragon
to win over the damsel in distress.

We want to be gladiators.

Now, we might not be able to pickup a sword
and shield and fight to victory.

But I feel that every time I sponsor a new
person, every time I coach my business partners,
and every time I do a training webinar or create
a training product… I feel like I’m wielding a sword.

That may sound corny. But I feel like I’m fighting
for my freedom every day, and that’s as close as
I can describe it.

I feel like a hero. And I never felt like that working
for someone else before. I think it’s a feeling
that you can only get when you work on
your own business.

==> Please leave your comments and thoughts below!

Adam Holland